How do I achieve thick, straight, and shiny hair? Right now...

It you answered ‘curly’ to question #1

Then, you can go about finding ways to straighten it, otherwise, you'll just hate that too

How do you claim to have ‘poofy’ hair and yet still wish to add volume?

what does your hair look like after you wash it?

2 things:

#3 was really rhetorical. You can't hate what your hair is and simultaneously wish for it to be moreso.

Stop brushing your hair dry and treat it the way curly hair needs to be treated, with moisture, cool water, dignity and respect.

When do you detangle/brush it?

You. Have. Curly. Hair.

OK, 3 things

If you answered ‘dry’ to question #2 this is why your hair looks the way you describe it.

How do I achieve thick, straight, and shiny hair? Right now my hair is very dry, dead, poofy, fine, and a yucky mix between wavy and straight. How do I add volume and make my hair more straight?